Buried Pain

So recently I have been going to train to be a advocate at the YWCA. While what I went through in seventh grade is nothing compared to what the people I will be dealing with have gone through I couldn't help but notice something when going over some material. We were going over the phases of Trauma and I realized I had been through each phase. It bothered me slightly that I had never realized the impact that the bullying I had experienced in my life had actually had.
While in my other blog Dizzy eyes you see a lot of the consequences of what will be discussed here in this blog I never make clear on why I am that way. When I began that blog I had no intentions of every reliving this part of my past. This is a part of my past I don't like thinking about. I guess I don't think about it because I'm almost afraid to. I'm afraid that just by thinking about it I might just land myself back in that dark place and when I do think about it I fear what might have happened if things had gone just a little bit differently.
Their will be parts of my experience I will be leaving out for my privacy, but I will be sharing a lot. I think it's important to share for a few reasons. One to help me deal with the events in my past that I've refused to acknowledge for years now and perhaps in doing this I can finally forgive the people who wronged me. Two to let other kids out there know that if they themselves are a bully victim that they aren't the only one and things will get better. Three to point out to the bullies just how damaging and unfunny their cruel words really are.